April 20, 2011

Three Cheers for Fudge Stripes

Have you ever been married to a chap who wants to lose some weight and “get healthy?” Have you ever told your hunky mate that he should eat a sandwich for lunch or have some scrambled eggs for breakfast? Has said man candy ever insisted on eating fruit snacks and chips instead, because they have fewer calories? Does this make any sense to you, as a person with basic nutritional knowledge?

Well, if I said it once, I’ll say it again: That is straight crazy! (Referring to the manly man, of course.)

Here is a new series of mind-bending questions for you:

Have you ever hated vegetables, in all of their rainbow colors of disgustingness? (Except green beans and dark green varieties of lettuce?) (Especially corn and carrots.) Let me rephrase that question: Have you ever hated all vegetables that were not green like unto the green on trees not native to Arizona? Have you ever done a 10-minute workout video for pregnant women and not taken a break, for the first time? Has your very unhealthy lover forced you to eat salad afterwards, instead of cookies baked by magical elves from Keebler?

Have you ever been like, why is this really nutritionally deficient person telling me how to nourish a baby in-utero? Have you hated that the violator of all things healthy was actually correct in their suggestion, so you ate some salad, even though you didn’t want to? Did your ironic nutritionist watch you eat your leafy greens while munching on the above cookies?

Well, that happened to me.
All of it.

This is completely unrelated:

I saw Atlas Shrugged on Friday and it was amazing!!  Cult films are always fun and this one made me feel a lot more sophisticated than Twilight (even though I love me some werewolves without shirts) and a lot cleaner (physically and morally) than The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Oh, and let's not forget the most epic Mormon movie of all time:  Napoleon Dynamite.
These movies are straight brilliant!

Seriously, though, Atlas Shrugged is my favorite book, so I was really happy that the movie producers didn't completely butcher Ayn Rand's message.

1 comment:

  1. How did I miss this?? And I even had a babysitter up here last weekend... We will have to see it soon!