February 4, 2011

Brace Yourselves

Within the first two hours of being awake this morning, I have been annoyed several times. This could mean that I am a grouch or that… I am a grouch. The jury is still out.

On Tuesday, while partaking of Husband’s delicious muffins, I bit a blueberry that “popped” in my mouth. If anything “pops” in my mouth, I immediately imagine biting into an eyeball.

The thought of squishing an eyeball between your teeth is disturbing, am I right?

The muffins this morning seemed to be overly blueberry-ish and I had a hard time crushing the eyeball thought with my mind vice (anyone?).

This unfortunate event may have been less traumatizing if Husband had let me drink milk, instead of forcing me to drink the citrus cocktail, which is delicious, unless you’ve just brushed your teeth, which I had.

Things only got worse when Husband quizzed me about Bon Jovi on the way to work. I don’t like Bon Jovi and never will. How then, am I supposed to know that his name is really Jon Bongiovi? After Husband made fun of me for not knowing this (he has a bad pestering tendency, I tell you), I had an epic freak out in the passenger seat.

I kid you not, my spaz session included punching his hand, screaming, writhing, and scratching the roof of the car.  (Too much information?)

Sometimes I am completely aware of my annoyance and frustration levels rising. On this occasion, there was no warning.

It was a pure freak out.

I felt bad, okay? I really did. It was a great morning, minus the above and soon-to-be-mentioned things that rubbed me very much the wrong way.

(Are you tired of this post yet?)

I am also annoyed by an old woman who acts like she is 20, never stops smiling, has a fake voice, and pretends she is my best friend. No thank you, I say. Lastly, is a 20 year old who acts like she is 40. Nope, I will not be converted to your vegetarian ways. For one, steaks are too tasty, and second, you don’t have any idea what you’re talking about when you tell me that you would eat meat in Europe, but not America.

I love Europe, but that doesn’t mean it’s perfect over there.

That’s it. I ranted.

I think today will be a good day… until I get nauseous at approximately 5:20 pm. Until then, let’s have some fun!

This was my dinner last night.

That is all.

1 comment:

  1. This post makes me laugh, it's basically awesome. Our husbands are so much alike. Don't tell your, he'll be mad. :) I love you and I hope you get the citrus-mint-toothpaste flavor out of your mouth. :)